The Male Multi-Orgasm: Does It Really Exist?


Recently, GetLusty's SugarCunt shared some incredible wisdom on the art of "moregasms" for women in her Mini-Guide to Multiple Orgasms for Women. Because our focus at GetLusty is to end boring sex for couples, we wanted to make sure our Lusty men don’t feel left out. Although male multiple orgasms are often thought of as something only a small percentage of men are able to achieve, our “hands-on” research tells us otherwise. Becoming a multi-orgasmic man definitely takes some focus, but the process is pleasurable and the benefits are well worth the effort. If you are not currently experiencing one or more delectable orgasms that vibrate through the very fiber of your being, then read on! GetLusty’s Joy Nelson is about to help you out and share the top secrets from her book, The Guy’s Guide to Multiple Orgasms!

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Take a deep, sexy time out

First of all, let’s get the hard stuff out of the way (no pun intended). It is a fairly well-known fact that most of us are goal oriented, which can potentially put a lot of stress on our system. Not good. If you're a goal-oriented person that reads this article and wants to get down to the nitty-gritty and set a solid deadline, you are going to fail. Instead, take a deep breath, go with the flow, draw on your inner strength and approach this process with passion. This is the first step to joining the ranks of multi-orgasmic men.

Connect with your sexual energy

Through my sex coaching and intimacy practice, I work with couples and individuals from all walks of life. When I first mention the phrase “sexual energy”, I see some people’s eyes become distant. They simply don’t get what I mean. However, as we move through a few exercises focused on connecting with their sexual energy, a shift occurs. As they begin to feel their own sexual energy and the associated pleasure, it’s like a light bulb goes off in their head. All of a sudden, they realize they have been seriously missing out. If you are acquainted with your sexual energy, that’s awesome! If you need some guidance, try this simple exercise. Feeling is believing.

To begin connecting with your sexual energy, sit in a comfortable position and begin to feel your breath as it enters and exits your body. Mentally focus on something that you already know turns you on. Maybe it’s your naked lover, or possibly it’s just a random erotic thought that enters your mind. With your mind focused on your desire, continue breathing deeply. Now, pay attention to how you feel on a sexual level. Uh-huh, that turned on feeling we all experience when we’re truly aroused is what I’m talkin’ about. There you go! You're connecting with your sexual energy! Next step.

Flex your way to more pleasure

Now that you have begun to connect with your sexual energy, let’s take your multi-orgasmic practice one step further. There’s a simple, yet highly effective exercise that is key for achieving multiple orgasms and non-ejaculatory orgasms: toning and strengthening the pelvic floor muscles through flexing your PC muscles, commonly referred to as a Kegel exercise. If you've heard this term before, you may think that Kegel exercises are only for women. Not so. Men can also benefit a great deal from Kegel exercises.

How to do kegels for men:

#1 Go to the restroom. Unbuckle your belt, unzip your fly, and pull out your “manhood”.

#2 Take the about-to-pee stance—penis exposed, hips thrust forward—and slowly begin to pee.

#3 Stop Peeing! Start peeing. Stop peeing. Start peeing. Stop peeing.

#4 The muscles used to stop the flow of urine are the muscles you're looking for. Can't flex them? Don’t fret; you’ll get it.

When you have mastered kegels, you should either see or feel your testicles jiggling or raising in response as you do them. Once you identify the muscles used to stop your urine flow, you can do your Kegels while sitting, standing, or lying down. According to a study conducted by the San Francisco Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality, “Conclusions supported the simple fact that well-toned pelvic muscles, including the PC muscle, improve sexual control and play a key part in achieving orgasm.” While doing kegels, you are toning your PC muscles, with the intention of improving your sexual control.

Learn orgasm control

A handful of men are naturally multi-orgasmic, but for most, the key is learning to truly understand what triggers their orgasm and then controlling when and if they orgasm. You can achieve this by paying attention to how your body feels just before you experience orgasm, while you are having an orgasm and just after you finish your orgasm. The process looks something like this:

#1 Find a quiet space at a time when you are not likely to be interrupted.

#2 Allow your mind to focus on arousal.

#3 As you enter a state of arousal, begin self-loving (masturbating).

#4 While you are masturbating focus on your bodily sensations.

#5 Pay close attention for signs of your approaching orgasm.

#6 As you feel your orgasm approaching, slow down or completely stop stimulating yourself.

#7 Take a few deep breaths and relax the muscles in your body.

#8 When you regain control over your ejaculation, continue masturbating.

#9 The next time you feel your orgasm approach, if you like, you may ejaculate.

#10 If you choose to ejaculate, take notice of how intense your orgasm is — you may be pleasantly surprised.

While you are experimenting with becoming a multi-orgasmic man, it’s important that you have fun and give yourself permission to focus on your pleasure. By practicing these simple techniques, you’ll be well on your way to increasing your pleasure and experiencing multiple orgasms. Take it from a woman whose lover is a multi-orgasmic man; learning how to control your orgasms is one of the best things you can do to enhance your sex life.

Beyond being a mama and a monogamous slut, Joy Nelson is an author, intimacy coach and pleasure activist. She lives in an eclectic community on Salt Spring Island, BC. Joy shares her adventures in sensual living on her blog, When Joy is not teaching folks how to experience joyous sex and deeper intimacy, she is most likely writing in the nude or dancing ecstatically. She is a woman who truly follows her bliss. Find Joy on Twitter @tantrachick, Facebook and on her website Connect with

Squirting 201: Learning how


In the previous article about Squirting, we learned that female ejaculation is still as mystifying as ever. The truth is: yes, it is possible to squirt, but first let's talk you through the sensations of squirting versus coming. Knowing the difference is essential if you want to teach yourself this amazing technique. Marian Sanchez enlightens us a bit more on the elusive art of squirting.

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Have you ever been totally grossed out by the public toilets available and told yourself you will just go once you get home? Have you found yourself doing a little dance, a little song, something, anything to keep you from realizing the sharpness of a full bladder? You are probably wondering what this has to do with what the title suggests. Well, that full bladder feeling is nearly the same as the pressure to ejaculate. You almost have to push a bit (think of a time you were too timid to pee and you had to force or push yourself to go) and once you push, the rush to go becomes exhilarating — so good it gives you goosebumps. You have to understand, coming is generally a gradual burn that builds in intensity until you are swept up and washed away with ecstasy. Squirting can develop in the same manner but the sensations are more livid, fiery and direct. In short, if an orgasm takes you high, squirting takes you forward.

How I taught myself

My first experience with female ejaculation happened during a getaway with my husband. We weren't making squirting a goal, it just happened, and it was the most megaton-awesome sex experience ever. I didn't just come, I exploded with this wild range of expressions, none of which made sense because it was so mindbogglingly intense. After that experience, I had to endure it again.

In time, I found that the maneuvering to squirt was quite similar to masturbating until orgasm. Certain parts of my body felt much more sensitive to my touch than others, so I would alternate where I'd place my hands on myself and how much pressure to use. When I felt eager enough to fixate on my goal (to squirt), I would focus on one side of my clit and rub generously. The sensation would build fast, and I would focus on not letting myself come. The sensation that would arise is similar to the urge to pee. I would focus on this urge, and with the electric feeling growing directly behind my clitoris (it feels white-hot and fiery), I would push with my hips, and boom! The immense pleasures of squirting continue as you expel, and afterwards, when you are gently falling back to earth, it is the most relaxing after-sex-moment ever.

Now, some women don't squirt a lot, others do. Depending on the position, you or your partner can witness it. What about the texture of female ejaculation? For me, I've noticed a squirt is a much thinner consistency of ejaculation and coming is usually a milkier thicker lubricant. It tends to vary from person to person. Sometimes you can tell by scent, other times by the sensation of your genitalia. When you are comfortable, you can introduce squirting to your partner. By your new found understanding of what pleases you, you can guide them to create magical electric endings to some of your favorite positions.

 I hope this article has been helpful. 
Cheers to beautiful sex!

This article was fashioned by GetLusty writer Marian Sanchez. Marian has many passions, writing being the oldest for her. When she isn't working on articles for GetLusty, she's with her amazing family and her five-cat herd. She enjoys all kinds of movies and tv, spending time with wonderful friends, going to Chicago metal shows and finding humor in everyday life. She has a horrible habit of wanting to learn all kinds of new things and going to different places. When it comes to sex, Christina has a raunchy good mouth and an open mind (which pleases her husband immensely).

Condoms You'll Love: Lucky Bloke

Amazing sex with condoms? Yes! We came across this amazing condom company, and we want all of our lusty readers to know about them. Lucky Bloke is an online business that allows shoppers to sample condoms from several different brands. The site also helps you find the perfect fit too. The best part – a portion of sales goes to charity.

Lucky Bloke

At Lucky Bloke strong, tangible commitment to positive social change (aka loving the world) is at the core of everything we do.

They offer two great sites depending on your safer sex needs:

At you'll find candid, independent reviews of over 70 top international condom styles. Each condom features a concise product description and “pro tips” for condom use. Drawing on thousands of participant responses, our condom reviews feature an unparalleled, definitive consumer resource.

Lucky Bloke found that 97% of reviewers felt the act of condom exploration spiced up their sex life!

Using their Filter Buttons and dynamic Search Field you can sort and browse the exact products that best match your personal specifications, curated for your convenience, from the top rated condoms (and lubes) worldwide. Choose from ribbed, ultra thin, pleasure shaped, studded, desensitizing, colors and flavors.

You can try the very best condoms the world has to offer without having to buy an entire box! One of this one, two of those...another of that one.

Explore the thinnest condoms available from Japan; a tasty line of vegan and organic flavored condoms from Australia; condoms that vary from glow-in-the-dark to ribbed and studded from North America; as well as the very best from Europe. There are even condoms that radically enhance pleasure with arousal  lubricants.

They make it easy to test out different products by offering ten-condom sampler. The top rated condoms selected by our safe sex connoisseurs start at just $6.99.

Once you've found the condoms you love, head on over to our other site There you'll receive special pricing when you purchase 6 or more condoms. Also, we offer both one-time and recurring monthly purchases. What could be more convenient than having your ├╝ber sexy, international condoms discreetly delivered monthly?

Lucky Bloke offers you the very best condoms from around the world and donates 10% of their sales to the charities and causes of your choice. Some causes you can help contribute to are the It Gets Better Project and UNICEF.

Lucky Bloke is pioneering a new way for you to think about pleasure, safety and how to buy the very best condoms. Follow them on twitter @theLuckyBloke, and on Facebook. Also check out their PinterestTumblr, and Google +.

Me First! Interdependent Relationships


What kind of relationship are you in? Maybe you've never even considered your role. Whether you are dependent, co-dependent, or interdependent, all relationships need balance and communication. Monique Mitchell delves into the meaning of interdependency and how to make it work for you.

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Do you compromise your own happiness to make other people in your life happy? Do you believe that your significant other is what makes your life complete? If you answered “no” to those questions, then you may be in, or open to the idea of, an interdependent relationship. Several studies, including those conducted at Northwestern University and Harvard University, indicate that interdependent relationships, while uncommon, is the epitome of a balanced relationship. In this type of a union, each person understands that “me” is equally as important as “us”. Nonetheless, once each person has developed a sense of personal maturity, both conclude that neither person will take on the entire financial or emotional burden of the relationship.

Dependency roles

In all types of relationships there are some people who are dependent, independent, co-dependent and interdependent. Firstly, the dependent person in a relationship is someone who spends much of his or her time deciphering who assumes responsibility of whom. The independent person in a relationship, on the other hand, tends to spend much of his or her time away from the other person, while the co-dependent person usually puts aside his or her own well-being to accommodate a significant other. And lastly, there's the interdependent person—a person who does not display neediness and who does not assume total power in the relationship.

Researchers believe that being responsible for your own identity, security, and freedom are beneficial to maintaining a successful interdependent relationship. While this type of couple has to focus on separate wants and needs, a simultaneous commitment to what is best for both partners is essential. Forming the relationship with a person who is at the same stage of personal maturity, while fostering clarity and a true commitment to partnership, are additional key elements to this sort of relationship.

Some celebrity couples also participate in being interdependent. Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are a great example, due to both maintaining successful careers and equally taking responsibility of their relationship and family life.

Building a strong union

Understand that while the ideals of interdependent relationships focus on personal growth and shared responsibility, it would be difficult to withhold some exchange of power. Couples, in general, have to trust one another, regardless of the amount of responsibility one or both may shoulder. Interdependence is developed through a shared dedication to self-improvement, open communication and honoring personal boundaries. Therefore, interdependent couples have to work together to build a union that is greater than the sum of its parts.

What couples like Angelina and Brad appear to do successfully is share a mutual respect for one another. This level of appreciation enables each person to work on personal goals and issues. Make sure to embrace what is important to the other partner and clarify expectations. Keep commitments as each person's self-awareness and self-esteem continues to evolve.


Every couple specifies its own set of rules for their relationship—simply put, what works for one couple may not work for another. So, prioritize the things that will help keep your relationship strong. Communicate, early in your partnership, individual values and individual definitions of what is needed for your relationship to work. Listen for any shared set of emotional, economical and moral principles. Having beliefs and intentions in common, while also establishing precise roles and setting guidelines that both people will be held accountable for, will strengthen the success of the interdependency in your relationship.

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention's (CDC) 2006-2010 National Survey of Family Growth, the probability of a first marriage lasting at least 10 years is between 68% and 70%, while a first marriage lasting at least 20 years is between 52% and 56%. The CDC's survey also indicates that educational attainment, employment status and premarital cohabitation are likely factors, in influencing a divorce or separation. Whether or not your interdependent partnership results in matrimony, the same standards of commitment to the relationship and cultivating self-identity still apply.

Being on the same accord, regarding life-changing decisions, is a must. The aforementioned factors of divorce and separation have to be established prior to the relationship. And like every other element in an interdependent relationship, both parties have to agree upon any transitions made, before and after the relationship has begun. The couple has to accept that change is a reciprocal obligation. Both partners' willingness to change, whether for individual or shared reasons, is for the betterment of the relationship. And the couple's investment in making positive changes will result in the relationship being satisfying and healthy.

Relationship prosperity

Undoubtedly, relationships are a challenge. By understanding that true love does not always conquer all, your 'happily ever after' journey will not be as rocky and far-fetched. Expecting for your mate to rescue you, rather than allowing him or her to support you and your plans for the future, will cause disparity over harmony. Therefore, devoting time and energy into your own improvement will add prosperity to your relationship. Remember that your issues are your own to work through. If you choose a mate wisely, you will be afforded the compassion and patience that you need. Several studies report that equality in a relationship is a factor in successful relationships. If you and your significant other can handle being on the same playing field, then interdependency is what will work best for the two of you.

Monique Mitchell is a general article writer with a professional background in nearly everything. A native, and current resident, of Chicago, Monique has covered topics ranging from relationships and entertainment to technology and post-graduation career tips. Now focusing more on dating and relationship blogging, Monique aims to inform readers on issues around the emotional and sexual health of people in the LGBTQ community. In her spare time, Monique enjoys cooking, reading, and watching romantic comedies and "Trash TV".

Why You Absolutely Must Visit Smitten Kitten!


On the run up to our new site, we've had the pleasure of getting to know (and will be featuring) Smitten Kitten. It's one of the most unique sex toy shops we've come across, and we can't wait for all of you lusty couples to check them out. Check out our review!

Smitten Kitten

Smitten Kitten is a sex toy shop with multiple awards under their sexual belt (as well as ten thrilling years in their chilly Minneapolis home), priding themselves as a prominent progressive sex retail business. They were also one of the pioneers of the movement to eliminate toxic sex toys and educate consumers about the safety concerns of some of their favorite products.


Smitten Kitten offers much more diversity of product than one has come to expect from sex retailer. There are sections for men, women, couples, and a trans/queer gender section. The trans/queer portion of the website consists mainly of two types of products: harnesses or dildos and trans porn. There are also a variety of things like kegal balls and vegan products. How accommodating! In addition, Smitten Kitten works hard to promote events around their area and feature several resident bloggers on their site.

One of the most unique things about the Smitten Kitten is their instructional video series. Unlike many other educational videos, which merely describe the various techniques for a particular activity or toy, Smitten Kitten has taken it all the way and produced a series of explicit videos dealing with a number of sexual activities, ranging from topics like oral sex to bondage. In addition to the physical act of each activity, the performers create an environment full of explicit sex talk, consent, and direction, some of the essential components for good-in-the sack communication.
Their bondage section is also a little different from many other retailers. It is easy to find all the expected bondage gear; gags, ropes, cuffs etc. In addition however, Smitten Kitten has a variety instructional books and a device for electroplay. The texts range from beginner books all the way to books covering specific bondage styles, such as Japanese rope play.

Above and beyond your average sex shop

After removing all the potentially dangerous toys from the store in 2003, their shelves were left a little barren. Since then, the success of their efforts has resulted in a retailer with everything from sex furniture and books to a venerable galaxy of dildos and vibrators. Regardless of what you are looking for chances are Smitten Kitten will have it.

The videos also go a step further than most other websites. You can brush up on your technique alone or watch them with a partner and play along. By creating a series of videos of real people engaging in various sexual activities, Smitten Kitten has created an opportunity for people to learn more about sex without doing so from conventional porn, which has long been criticized for its lack of accuracy when representing things like the way oral sex really goes down.

They also have a variety of events throughout the month, which can be found on their website. The events, taking place at their Minneapolis location, cover a wide range of topics from the basics of non-monogamy to fund raisers for charitable groups. Some events, the 101 classes for example, are repeated throughout the year on a rotating schedule.
Check out this award winning sex toy retailer online at, or if your in Minneapolis, stop in at the store.

Try This! Grind the Bench


Many sex positions have one person more dominant than the other. It's seems that most love-making is happening to a person, when it should be a shared experience where the both of you can truly connect. Nothing adds more intimacy to your sexual experience than being able to look your partner in the eye. "Benched" brings the two of you eye-to-eye.

How to get into it

Firstly, you'll need a bench. Maybe you don't have a bench – improvise. Look around your home for anything that can work. You have to be able to straddle the table-esque object. Try the coffee table, a couple of ottomans or foot stools pushed together, or a workout bench. If your kitchen counter is big enough, try it out. Be safe though. If your bench is free-standing, you might push yourselves into a dangerous spot, or fall right off.

Okay, once you have your bench – have seat. Both of you straddle your bench and pull each other close. One of you place your feet on the floor. You're the stability. Your partner grabs onto you and puts his/her feet up on the bench, behind you. The movement will come naturally, but the most important thing here is the intimacy. Look into your partner's eyes, gently kiss each other, become one.

Benefits for the giver (feet on the ground)

  • Intimacy! Can't emphasize that enough
  • You get to sit down! You're not doing all the work in this position, so you'll be able to really enjoy yourself, and your partner
  • Your hands have more to explore with your partner sitting up
  • You can also rub your (or their) nipples with your free hands, while also staring into your partners' eyes
  • This is perfect access to see all the action (including inside and out motions)
Benefits for the receiver

  • This is much better than a missionary-style position (though we love missionary), it's one where you both are on equal footing so to speak
  • You get to feel your partner's hands exploring your body
  • Here, you can enjoy the stimulation of grinding, as there aren't too many ranges of motion for this position
  • Not too many ranges of motion might seem limiting but not true! There are many varieties of grinding to try and enjoy! Because why not?
We also recommend the other positions below. Check out our full catalog of sex positions
Our other sex position faves:

Our 9 Lusty Favs From Tumblr Today (Some NSFW)

Here's some eye candy for your last week of 2012. We love Tumblr. We're tumbling more lately on GetLusty's Tumblr page. Our favorite pictures of the day. After reviewing our Tumblr feed, we saw some pretty steamy photos. Erotic, artistic, and sexy. So we thought in true GetLusty for Couples fashion--we'd share!

Speaking of social media, have you 'Liked' GetLusty on Facebook yet? We're also on Pinterest, as well as Twitter @getlusty. What?! You're on those platforms and aren't in tune with our awesome content? Have amazing sex. Get lusty.

Suits are like men's lingerie.



Men's corset!

The hand.

Of course!

Dare me.

The slouch.

The ultimate turn on.

Wonder where we got these? Check out our sources below:

Source 1
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Source 3
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Source 5
Source 6
Source 7
Source 8
Source 9

Why Aren't My Orgasms as Powerful?


The issue of orgasms is one near and dear to our hearts. If you're not orgasming as intensity as you once did, you might feel a little unsatisfied to say the least. And if it's an issue of your own body or mind, that can be seriously frustrating! As a GetLusty (male) reader notes, he once had powerful, intense orgasms and now doesn't feel they're as strong. As always, we're here to serve you. So our resident sex therapist and counselor, Dr. Mousumi Ghose of LA Sex Therapist, answers his question thoroughly. Do you have questions of your own

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Dear GetLusty,

I have a question. It regards decreased ejaculate in older men. As a young man I very well could have been a feature player in adult films due to how forceful and how copious my ejaculations were. As an older man however I produce very little if any cum upon climax.

In addition, the intensity of my orgasms are significantly diminished. Which is a shame because I'm having the best sex I've ever had in my life and my girlfriend is extremely sexy and open everything sexual that I have ever fantasized about before we met. Particular anal. In fact, she's quite talented at it and enjoys it more than conventional penetration.

Yet, as hot as this is (and by hot I mean, whenever I masturbate to porn, ultimately I cum thinking of sex with her) I still have a very hard time maintaining an erection or reaching a climax. While Viagra works for the erectile problem, I've tried holding off sex or masturbation for days or even weeks in hopes that I could build up semen in my system. Unfortunately, this hasn't worked.

I eat a healthy diet, exercise regularly, drink moderately and am cutting back on smoking. I take blood pressure pills, but I'm not sure of the physiological effects that may have on this condition.

I really miss those powerful, squirting cums that I used to have.

Any advice or knowledge you might be able to share would be very greatly appreciated.

Wants to Cum

Dear "Wants to Cum",

Thank you for your email. The age issue for male sexuality is a very important one. It's important to know that men's sexuality shifts and changes with time and with age. Boys and men in their late teens and 20's are what I like to call "walking erections." That is--they get erect almost seamlessly and have very few limits to their sexual functioning. They are also experiencing peaked hormones, which is not necessarily their natural state. As men grow older into their 30's and 40's, the shift they experience is more mellowing. This is actually a very natural state. Many men trip themselves up a lot by second guessing what is happening as, "negative", "unnatural" or "bad". They think something is "wrong" with them. Most of the time, this is untrue.

I would like to ask that you do visit with a medical professional. Sometimes, as we age, we do experience declining health in other areas. I know you mentioned you are healthy, doing exercise and maintaining good health habits. However, it's important to know that many medications do in fact effect your physiologically. Unfortunately, your sexuality is not divorced from the rest of your body. Check with your doctor, as the blood pressure medication may very well have side effects.

Otherwise, focus on the actions you can take. You already mentioned you are having the best sex of your life! Then what is the problem here? As a society we put so much emphasis on erections, intercourse and orgasm. That's barely sex at all. That's a very limited view of sex, when our bodies are capable of so much more pleasure. Get into a mindful practice where you are focused on feelings not on end goals.

Make a commitment to get into the touch, smell, taste, sights and sounds of the sexual interactions. Get creative, do more anal, as you mentioned, get kinky with your hands and mouth. Use all of your senses, consciously. Unfortunately holding off on masturbating and cumming to produce more cum later is not something I recommend either. It's not a case of being backed up or not, the more you do it, the more you increase your odds of great experiences. My suggestion is to enjoy the ride and forget about the destination.

Good luck,

This is a guest post from the well acclaimed Moushumi Ghose.

Moushumi Ghose is a Sex Therapist, Educator and Coach, Radio Host, Musician, and Filmmaker. She is licensed by the California Board of Behavioral  Science. She is a member of AASECT (American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists). Mou also has extensive experience working with a variety of populations and diverse lifestyles.

Moushumi recently completed an eBook on, "Marriage, Money and Porn." and writes extensively for numerous other sites ranging from Men's Fitness Magazine to Find her on Twitter @motor_amourFacebook and her website

Don't forget to comment below! Have a question about fantasies or our Shades of Grey content month? Send them over to and we'll get them answered!



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