Recently, GetLusty's SugarCunt shared some incredible wisdom on the art of "moregasms" for women in her Mini-Guide to Multiple Orgasms for Women. Because our focus at GetLusty is to end boring sex for couples, we wanted to make sure our Lusty men don’t feel left out. Although male multiple orgasms are often thought of as something only a small percentage of men are able to achieve, our “hands-on” research tells us otherwise. Becoming a multi-orgasmic man definitely takes some focus, but the process is pleasurable and the benefits are well worth the effort. If you are not currently experiencing one or more delectable orgasms that vibrate through the very fiber of your being, then read on! GetLusty’s Joy Nelson is about to help you out and share the top secrets from her book, The Guy’s Guide to Multiple Orgasms!
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Take a deep, sexy time out
First of all, let’s get the hard stuff out of the way (no pun intended). It is a fairly well-known fact that most of us are goal oriented, which can potentially put a lot of stress on our system. Not good. If you're a goal-oriented person that reads this article and wants to get down to the nitty-gritty and set a solid deadline, you are going to fail. Instead, take a deep breath, go with the flow, draw on your inner strength and approach this process with passion. This is the first step to joining the ranks of multi-orgasmic men.
Through my sex coaching and intimacy practice, I work with couples and individuals from all walks of life. When I first mention the phrase “sexual energy”, I see some people’s eyes become distant. They simply don’t get what I mean. However, as we move through a few exercises focused on connecting with their sexual energy, a shift occurs. As they begin to feel their own sexual energy and the associated pleasure, it’s like a light bulb goes off in their head. All of a sudden, they realize they have been seriously missing out. If you are acquainted with your sexual energy, that’s awesome! If you need some guidance, try this simple exercise. Feeling is believing.
To begin connecting with your sexual energy, sit in a comfortable position and begin to feel your breath as it enters and exits your body. Mentally focus on something that you already know turns you on. Maybe it’s your naked lover, or possibly it’s just a random erotic thought that enters your mind. With your mind focused on your desire, continue breathing deeply. Now, pay attention to how you feel on a sexual level. Uh-huh, that turned on feeling we all experience when we’re truly aroused is what I’m talkin’ about. There you go! You're connecting with your sexual energy! Next step.
Flex your way to more pleasure
Now that you have begun to connect with your sexual energy, let’s take your multi-orgasmic practice one step further. There’s a simple, yet highly effective exercise that is key for achieving multiple orgasms and non-ejaculatory orgasms: toning and strengthening the pelvic floor muscles through flexing your PC muscles, commonly referred to as a Kegel exercise. If you've heard this term before, you may think that Kegel exercises are only for women. Not so. Men can also benefit a great deal from Kegel exercises.
How to do kegels for men:
#1 Go to the restroom. Unbuckle your belt, unzip your fly, and pull out your “manhood”.
#2 Take the about-to-pee stance—penis exposed, hips thrust forward—and slowly begin to pee.
#3 Stop Peeing! Start peeing. Stop peeing. Start peeing. Stop peeing.
#4 The muscles used to stop the flow of urine are the muscles you're looking for. Can't flex them? Don’t fret; you’ll get it.
When you have mastered kegels, you should either see or feel your testicles jiggling or raising in response as you do them. Once you identify the muscles used to stop your urine flow, you can do your Kegels while sitting, standing, or lying down. According to a study conducted by the San Francisco Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality, “Conclusions supported the simple fact that well-toned pelvic muscles, including the PC muscle, improve sexual control and play a key part in achieving orgasm.” While doing kegels, you are toning your PC muscles, with the intention of improving your sexual control.
Learn orgasm control
A handful of men are naturally multi-orgasmic, but for most, the key is learning to truly understand what triggers their orgasm and then controlling when and if they orgasm. You can achieve this by paying attention to how your body feels just before you experience orgasm, while you are having an orgasm and just after you finish your orgasm. The process looks something like this:
#1 Find a quiet space at a time when you are not likely to be interrupted.
#2 Allow your mind to focus on arousal.
#3 As you enter a state of arousal, begin self-loving (masturbating).
#4 While you are masturbating focus on your bodily sensations.
#5 Pay close attention for signs of your approaching orgasm.
#6 As you feel your orgasm approaching, slow down or completely stop stimulating yourself.
#7 Take a few deep breaths and relax the muscles in your body.
#8 When you regain control over your ejaculation, continue masturbating.
#9 The next time you feel your orgasm approach, if you like, you may ejaculate.
#10 If you choose to ejaculate, take notice of how intense your orgasm is — you may be pleasantly surprised.
While you are experimenting with becoming a multi-orgasmic man, it’s important that you have fun and give yourself permission to focus on your pleasure. By practicing these simple techniques, you’ll be well on your way to increasing your pleasure and experiencing multiple orgasms. Take it from a woman whose lover is a multi-orgasmic man; learning how to control your orgasms is one of the best things you can do to enhance your sex life.
Beyond being a mama and a monogamous slut, Joy Nelson is an author, intimacy coach and pleasure activist. She lives in an eclectic community on Salt Spring Island, BC. Joy shares her adventures in sensual living on her blog, Tantrachick.com. When Joy is not teaching folks how to experience joyous sex and deeper intimacy, she is most likely writing in the nude or dancing ecstatically. She is a woman who truly follows her bliss. Find Joy on Twitter @tantrachick, Facebook and on her website ThePleasureActivist.com. Connect with firstname.lastname@example.org.